Journey To BQ
After my heartbreak subsided back in July, I slowly started to lose my identity in running. I was on a mission running marathon after marathon in hopes I could finally Boston Qualify. Finally, after my third attempt at Napa Valley Marathon along with a slew of Instagram stories crying into the camera recapping my race experience; I knew something needed to change. I needed to have fun again! I had turned my passion of running into a life or death experience. During the last six years, I had completed 6 Full marathons, thousands of miles logged, and tons of tears shed. Instead of feeling proud of my accomplishments, I felt shameful. When I had completed Napa Valley Marathon in March, I received my medal with disappointment and guilt. I was completely hard on myself. I had convinced myself that the only thing that mattered was my finisher’s time.
One day, my running friend/coach Ron asked me if it was okay to provide some insight on the hashtag BQorBust which I was using to document my marathon training and race day experiences. He had suggested in order to shift my mindset to be more positive I should start using hashtag JourneyToBQ. This will convince my mind to believe I will BQ versus making the task at hand feel absolute. It was the ultimate lightbulb moment. I had no idea I was adding this much extra pressure to my marathon experience with a silly hashtag.
Looking back, it made perfect sense. The combination of not enjoying the training process, pressure, and negative mindset was a recipe for disaster. Even my friend Ashley gave me a piece of advice that didn’t quite make sense until now. She told me Boston will happen when it’s meant to be. We will all have different paths to Boston, but right now enjoy the journey of discovering myself along the way. Much like the marathon, the road to Boston isn’t a sprint. There will be ups and downs, turns and delays. And you know what? It will all work out because I now have faith in the process. This is my #JouneyToBQ.