Fix The Negative Talk
Self doubt during a race is inevitable. But how we control what goes on in our minds is another story. With the use of my mantra, “yes I can,” I’ve been able to transform my negative thoughts to a powerful state of mind. This mantra has been able to get me through the toughest of work outs, speed work, and long runs. This past Sunday, I was able to overcome my own mental bully at the Represent Running East Bay 510k. Having just run 18 miles the day before, I had no expectations of how I’d do in the 5k. All I wanted out of the morning was to have fun and run with 100% effort.
The race started, and we were off. I felt my body naturally get in the groove coasting at 6:18/mi. “Breathe, just relax,” echoed in my mind as I sped down the marked path as the first female in front of the pack. At mile 2, I started feeling a huge gain from my fellow running friend Christine. I knew she just performed exceptionally well at the Chicago Marathon with a BQ time I could only dream of. Self doubt immediately crept in. My thoughts went from:
“Well you ran 18 miles yesterday, she’s running strong. Led off on the gas and let her have it.”
“You don’t have the quad strength to keep up with the pace you’re currently running.”
“She’s gaining on you, give it up. She deserves to win.”
Then just like a switch of a light, I immediately took control of my negative thoughts with:
“Shut up negative voice! I deserve to win! Fight! Run hard!”
“You’re almost to Bay St. This is the last stretch. Pick it up!”
“YES I CAN! YES I CAN! YES I CAN!”
As I made the last turn into the Bay Street Shopping Center, I completely forgot about the “pain” I was in. I could finally see the finish line and I charged for it. I picked up pace from 6:18 to 5:49/mi. Every second counted as the clock ticked closer to 20:00. I wanted that sub 20 minute 5k time more than ever. Hands raised, I broke through the tape as the first female finisher. Holy sh*t! I did it again! What a fight! What a beautiful fight in persistence and proving my mind wrong.
Crossing the finish line wasn’t to “win.” It was to prove to myself that I can control my mindset and beliefs. I am CAPABLE of what goes on in my mind. My mantra set me free of my negative beliefs. As much as I wanted to see my friend succeed, I needed this moment of strength & grit! With 47 days till California International Marathon 2018 , I KNOW I’m getting stronger and more confident in my abilities as a runner to truly break through these self-imposed barriers. I know I’m worthy of greatness and the BQ title. Until that day, you better believe I’m working harder and smarter than I ever have.
Photo Credit: ©Margaret Austin Photography